lonely night

hi..new here

im new here

1. Name: honora
2. Age:26
3. Location:rochester, ny
4. Your loss(es):my dad
5. Age when you lost your parent(s):19
6. Age of Parent(s):62
7. Cause of Death(s):kidney failure/bleeding
8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? just somewhere i can go where someone understandsand to help peole as much i can. 
9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? just...thats so hard to answer...he was my everything. i was abused by my mother my entire life, and he never...he never left. he always tried to stop her from hitting me, whenever he could. at any given moment. he was always good to me.

i was just lookin for somethin like this...
had memories of him...

mostly christmas stuff. getting the tree and decorating it and stuff. consequently, preparing for the christmas concert at my school sucks. because everytime i sing lately ( last 2 months or  so) i cry because i miss him.
he used to take me to mc.donald's, basketball practice in saturday mornings, the beach, he taught me to swim. he'd always pick me up from scohol when could and take me for pizza and/or chuckie cheeses. i didnt ask for much, but i got whatever i wanted with him. my mother tormented him, like she did me. so i feel...a lot of guilt. i feel the obligatory 'if he woulda left he woulda had a better life and he might still be here.' but he didnt leave. my parents didnt get seperated til i was 16. and i *still* had a relationship with him. we went for a few months without really being in contact, and looking back; it was upsetting that my mother didnt try to at least ask me if i had talked to him. i was in high school..and i just. its like a whole 2 years is a blur because he was drinking alot, and living in new jersey/coming into brooklyn for things...im thankful for the tme i had with him. ( including almost 3 months to the day that he passed away).but it juts hurts sooo bad. even all this time later. there's somedays its an open wound, and some days its like i seriously and honestly forget that its happened.

thanks for listening. andim glad i read the guidelines. lol. im irish. i''m irish with four psych disorders due to abuse. i curse like a sailor ;) lol. but of course i will refrain from doing so here.

(no subject)

My Dad died two and a half weeks ago. I can’t believe this, and I refuse to accept it. He had a sudden and unexpected heart attack. I was away at school, all alone, when my sister told me the news. I had to fly home immediatley, still not believing it. I fee l so guilty for not appreciating him enough in life. I feel so bad for not calling him as much as he wanted me to. He was such a good person, I can’t ever get over this. I just miss him. He was only 51. I only had him for 19 years. This isn’t fair, why do other people my age get to keep their fathers but I have to lose mine so young?! He worked so hard in life, and I feel like he never really did anything fun. I hope he had a happy life. He tried so hard to make all of us happy. I’m so sorry, Dad. I love you…

For Father's Day

In this past year I've lost my father-in-law and my maternal grandfather. (My dad and his dad died years ago).

Just sending out encouragement to everybody who's mourning the loss of their father on this day.
Aack! A Furry!

Mother's Day

I lost my Mom in April 2005, so this is my 3rd Mother's Day without her, and my second as a Mom.
I just saw The Simpson's Mother's Day episode, and it made my cry.
When did cartoons tun into tear-jerkers?
Aack! A Furry!

Lost my Dad, Already lost my Mom.

1. Name: Laura

2. Age: 38

3. Location: Georgia

4. Your loss(es): Mom and Dad, and Stepdad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): Lost Stepdad at 33, Mom at 35, Dad at 38.

6. Age of Parent(s): Mom was 60, Dad was 75. Don;t know exactly how old my Stepdad was. 60s.

7. Cause of Death(s): Mom died from Early-onset Alzheimer's disease, was ill for 10 years, Dad died of Stage IV Small cell lung cancer after a 6 day hospital stay. Stepdad died of Colon cancer, had been sick for about a year.

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? to feel better about having no parents yet at a moderately early age.

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? Mom was my best friend, Dad mellowed we age and we got to be friends, and my Stepdad was an incredible man who took care of my Mom for years until he died.

10. Photo(s)

Here's my Dad and my son. Thank God they got to meet a few times. I don't have photos in this computer of my Mom and stepdad, but they didn't look the same while they were sick, so that's not how I remember them.

Not quite...

I don't really know if this story counts as parent loss. I don't know if I have a mom or if she's alive or dead. My mom was a real nutcase, from my distant memories of her when I was little. When my dad died, I was pretty much too young to remember, but I remember him always calling me "My Maggie." It's like hearing a ghost echo in the past. 
Then I got sent to live with my aunt and uncle, and then with my cousin. It's weird having this feeling that there's a woman out there, who might know your name and who might remember who you are and who just might miss you too. And it's weird knowing that I have a father who watches over me all the time. 
To most, I've only lost one, or maybe two, but to me, they are out there somewhere, dead or alive. 
Miss you dad, I know you're in heaven.
Miss you mom, wherever you are. 

Does anyone else have a story like this? Please, do share.

(no subject)

 1. Name: Cassie

2. Age: 18

3. Location: Arkansas

4. Your loss(es): My dad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): 17

6. Age of Parent(s): 45

7. Cause of Death(s): motorcycle accident (wasn't his fault)

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? just the relief of being around those who know what I'm going through

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? he was the person everyone should want to be. the best person I knew

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s): um..i don't think I have any on my computer...sorry
  • Current Music
    lostprophets - last train home
me in the mirror

(no subject)

Yesterday was a year and a half since my parents were killed in a car accident. 
Today is a year and a half since I found out they were dead.  It was about this time in the morning when I got the call. 
My stomach hurts and my heart aches a terrible pain.
I would never wish this ache, pain, or feelings on anyone...it's like torture.

(no subject)

Today would be my dad's 51st birthday. It's his birthday not being alive.

I hate having to go over to his urn in order to say Happy Birthday to him.

It sucks that my dad left my house a real person and came back a decoration.

  • Current Mood
    gloomy gloomy


The most bizarre thing just happened to me. I was sitting here, a little bored and I thought, "hey, i'll call mom and talk to her about all the crap going on". And for like a whole second, I forgot, and I had every intention of picking up the phone and calling her. The thing is, she died almost SIX YEARS ago. I thought that those moments had stopped long ago. It's funny how a fleeting thought can come out of nowhere and send you reeling...
  • Current Mood
    sad sad